Shining Armour

[saintcorrupted]

There wasn't much left in the world for Drusilla it sometimes seemed. Everyone had left her. Darla was no more, Angelus was lost to her and even her Spike, her William, he had moved on and she could no longer save him.

She drifted through the city aimlessly, her eyes seeing things that weren't there and her mind hearing things no one else heard. When some men talked to her, she smiled serenely and she let them pull her into an alley. They hadn't expected her face to change and their lives to end, but they also didn't taste very good, so she didn't even drink from the last one and instead merely crushed his skull against the ground. It still killed him well enough.

The world was dreary today, but through that dreariness she noticed a presence that sparked recognition. He wasn't there yet, so she stayed where he would be and counted the stars that couldn't be seen. She kept losing count and having to start over, it was quite vexing.

Finally there he was. She was silent when she moved behind him, until she put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hello. I know you."

Comments

[hartandsouled]

"Angel's good at that," Lindsey said although his vehemence towards the souled vampire wasn't what it used to be. A lot changed after he got his hand back and Darla leaving him, he just couldn't find as much to hate about the broody vamp anymore.

"And what are you talking about?" He resisted the urge to rub where he was poked to get the sensation of her sharp fingernails off his chest.

[saintcorrupted]

"Oh, do you need everything said plainly?" For just a moment Drusilla sounded as exasperated as people tended to be with her, but from her point of view, it was a similar annoyance. "You'll die. You'll be shot. Bang, bang and no kisses. Is that what you want?" She still rubbed his chest, touching two spots more than anything. "It's because no one can trust you. But I'd like to trust you, Lindsey. Won't you let me?"

[hartandsouled]

"What?" It took a few seconds to process that she was telling him about his death. Lindsey stared back, stupefied, and tried to wrap his mind around it. Shot. By muggers? Assassins? Wolfram and Hart could very well send some after him if they haven't already. If it's because people didn't trust him, it didn't sound like muggers.

"And how can you help me, Drusilla?" Lindsey whispered, the subject requiring quiet tones.

[saintcorrupted]

"I can help you not be where you would be. I can help you not be what you would be. Not do what you would do. How do you want to live, Lindsey, and how do you want to die? You learned so many paragraphs." She moved her hands up, wiggling her fingers around his head before combing them through his hair instead. "One tiny note in a small paragraph and the book you're in won't be about you. But you can be more than that. You can be a whole book. Or we can burn all books together."

[hartandsouled]

Either way, avoiding the possible Wolfram and Hart assassin that Drusilla was talking about in his future sounded like a good idea. Not being where they could kill him was an excellent idea, and since it didn't seem like that meant him joining the dead, or undead, yet, he could go along.

But before he did, he had to figure out some answers first. "Why would you want to help me?"

[saintcorrupted]

"Because I'm alone and if I help you, I won't be. Darla liked you. You're almost family." It seemed like enough reason for Drusilla. She took Lindsey's hand now and simply pulled him along, walking over the corpse of one man and then moving aside for something no one but her could see. She lived in a strange world, but usually it at least made sense to her.

"Why don't you want to be made?"

[hartandsouled]

At least she knew Lindsey didn't want to be turned, which didn't mean much if she wanted to force the issue, but was still better for now. He let her lead him on her strange walk, a part of him curious about this pitiful vampire. The mention of Darla plucked at another heartstring.

"From what I know, being turned means I'll die and a demon live on in my body. I still want to live. It's kind of why I quit my job." But he wondered why he was letting a crazy vampire drag him into the night if that was the case.

[saintcorrupted]

"Then you know nothing," Drusilla told him, her voice a bit of a sing-song, "Don't worry about it, Lindsey. Most people know nothing." Compared to her, who knew a lot of things, even if some of time might just be plain insane, everyone else really was lacking.

"You lose a little, you gain a little, but you're still yourself. Just different. Stronger." She turned around and smiled at Lindsey. "I know so much, so I didn't lose a lot. I'm still in pain, like Angelus wanted. I'll always be in pain. But I can love, too. Can you?"

[hartandsouled]

"Vampires can't love," Lindsey said automatically. It was why Darla left, because she couldn't love him after losing her soul. At least, that was what he believed all these weeks since she disappeared.

He stopped, or at least, he tried to if she wasn't pulling him along. "And I guess that's the bottom line, as tied down as it is already, I don't want to lose my soul."

[saintcorrupted]

"Can't love? No, no. That's a lie they like to tell themselves. If I didn't love, I wouldn't hurt. You should meet my Spike. He does nothing but love. Loved so much that I wasn't enough any more and now he's not mine. Just ash." Drusilla shook her head and sighed, turning back to look at Lindsey. "Don't you worry about your soul, Lindsey. It's not yours at all anyway. Might as well be gone." She stopped and once more put a hand on his chest. "All you have left to give is your heart. Why weren't you more careful with it?"

[hartandsouled]

Lindsey stiffened at the rude reminder of his stupidity of selling his soul to move up the ranks. He was leaving the job anyway and still had to find a way to get that back. Assuming he survived the leaving.

"You're right, I made the mistake of signing it away already, I'm not going throw away what I have left of it." Idly he wondered if Wolfram and Hart knew that Spike was dusted. It did explain why Drusilla was wandering around lost.

[saintcorrupted]

"You can't throw a soul away. You can lose it and you can sell it, you can kill it and you can destroy it, bit by bit. Mine is broken. If they brought it back it would cut into me with all the sharp edges." Drusilla hummed as if that possible fate didn't disturb her overly much. She turned around to Lindsey, not stopping and not letting go of him.

"Lindsey... Do you think I'm pretty?"

[hartandsouled]

The question caught Lindsey off guard and he took a second longer to reply. "I think you are."

Lindsey sighed at how swiftly she changed the topic on him. Her mind jumped in from fragment to fragment, keeping one conversation going well be difficult. He tried to pull free and realized leaving was going to be just as challenging. "Drusilla, you know what I mean. Or maybe you don't, but I am not looking to get turned."